PAPER DOLLS: Fitness for… Health? Wellness?

Oh hiiiii. There was an earlier version of this. SOORRRYYYY. #oldladies #howoldistoooldforblogging #wellnessweek #inspirationalmotivational

molly veronica how old is too old paper dolls wellness week all the basics hoito.jpg

Molly- All black everything when I am being serious about trying to get sweaty, have been since high school. All black, all basics. Trying out a LNDR Performance Bra,  NikeLab Essential Crew Long Sleeve and Adidas Black Cigarette Pants. If I’m sticking with what I wore when I was actually training, shoes were always Adidas – Pure Boost X TR 2 Sneakers. Veronica, ummmm. Sorry. But– I have no idea. Veronica: DressShoes; bralette, duffels. 

———————

OLD PEOPLE TRYING OUT GOOGLE HANGOUTS (a lot of Molly not being sure if we were all there).

Veronica: I’M HERE!!

Molly: WHERE AM I?! 

V: There’s my GIRL!

M: OK. Wait. When the banner drops away it just looks like chat.

V: Yeah it’s the same thing, right? I don’t know. TOO OLD TO CARE.

M: So. I started thinking about fitness, etc. and i wondered…. do you fitness? because i just can NOT picture it.

V: Hahaha. I DO NOT. I was super athletic as a teen, but then just started smoking and drinking like everyone else, and liked that better.

M: Do you like your looks?

V: I LOVE THESE LOOKS!!

M: It’s so hard because… have you ever worn a technical fabric? OH YES. The cheerleading! I couldn’t even imagine you sweating so instead I put you in some dresses.

V: Honestly, these are both so perfect for going to a health/private club and eating cobb salad and drinking bubbly rose, without feeling out of place.Without having to actually do anything. They’re perfect! You get me!

M: Exactly! Like if you maybe wanted to do some sun salutations or light stretching or check in for your body work appointment. You hate salad tho. You could get a turkey club?

V: Like, MAY-BE I could jump into an aerobics class, but probably I’ll just slip into the attached spa and get a spray tan. I love cobb salad though. Because it’s basically a sandwich with dressing.

M: I just love learning about you.

V: ❤

veronica hoito workout fitness all the designer howoldistoooldVeronica can’t help but slay at something sports related. She wears a Stella McCartney for Adidas Barricade Dress, and Fuschia Mink Givenchy Slides. So, this is clearly post workout. Pre-workout? Not during the actual work out. Minimal support for minimal effort Body Language Bra Top; San Diego Hat Co. Visor – man, that sun was something fierce out there.

———————
V: p.s. thank you so much for the pom sun visor. I mean … with the fur slides?? I look SO HEALTHY.
M: you are GLOWING.
V: I mean … I feel REALLY GREAT.
M: YOU. LOOK. GREAT.

molly fitness patterns hoito ivy park versace all the workouts

I am VERY against those shorts that look like skirts. Skorts, but sports related. But, this one was camo and pleated and I figured why not? What I learned was The Upside Camo Shorts are not for me. Ever. However, I’ll take The Upside Sports Bra and all the Ivy Park, including this Logo Crop Hoodie. I want to wear these Yeezy Boost Boots for fitness, work, dates, dancing, living my best life. And when it gets to be too much, Versace Sun Shields for the win.

———————

V: I love the camo sports bra with just a little pink.

M: This got too out of control. I’d never wear that but i really want to have the camo bra and the Yeezys.

V: The bra is really good. The sweatshirt is good too! The skirt scares me a little.

M: Yeah, i have a deep loathing of workout skirts. I just cant get my head around them. I’m always wanting to fitness more but my grandma knees can’t take it. So I’m resigned to dressing for the fitness i want, not the fitness i can have.

V:Grandma knees are hot right now. The first picture is so exactly us, I can’t handle it. This is exactly how we would meet up, and I would instantly feel too prissy, but still completely myself.

M: And I’d be glowering at you in all black and you’d think it was because you were in a dress but then later you’d figure out i don’t wear my glasses when i work out!

V: HAHAHA.

M: Matching duffles though.

BOB ADAMS: It’s hard for me to comment on the outfits when all I want to do is make these little ladies walk around like dolls.

STREET STYLE: Who are you wearing?!

Part of being a blogger, a large part, is staying totally nonchalant and vaguely annoyed at the wave of street style paparazzi covering every corner of NYFW. To avoid that, we took the back alleys. It didn’t work.

PAPARAZZI: MOLLY!!! HOITO!!! WHO ARE YOU WEARING???!!!

MOLLY: Veronica Sheaffer for Veronica Sheaffer custom fringe top. (Also H&M skirt, Charlotte Russe Shoes, and black socks I stole from a shoe store. They were the try on socks, so I think I was allowed to?)

PAPARAZZI: DID YOU DRINK ALL THOSE COFFEES?

MOLLY: Yes. I’m a blogger.

molly hoito ny alley fashion week STREET STYLE

PAPARAZZI: VERONICA!!! HOITO!!! WHO ARE YOU WEARING?!?!

VERONICA: Veronica Sheaffer in Veronica Sheaffer for Veronica Sheaffer jumpsuit. (And vintage Levi’s jacket, Forever 21 Scuba Heels.)

PAPARAZZI: Googley Eyes.

VERONICA: Blinky Eyes.

hoito street style veronica scheaffer in vs strong look

They have amazing cameras. Check out the close up of this neck piece.

Processed with VSCO with p5 preset

THE LAB: The Ordinary, A Review.

Follow me into the lab my gorgeous grandmas… let’s take a look at The Ordinary.

I was first turned on when a friend brought a ziploc full of science-y bottles on a ladies weekend. She looked great. The ziploc was full of obvious science. I spend the flight home making a cart and pulled the trigger later that week. Scientific method? DUH.

QUESTION: Does The Ordinary work?

BACKGROUND RESEARCH: I asked some friends and looked at the website. The website is EXTREMELY confusing. These products may only be made for actual dermatologists. There is a chart that helps a bit. But there is an overwhelming amount of products that are not broken up in any way that makes sense. Really lean on the chart.

HYPOTHESIS: It may work. It may not?

EXPERIMENT: I ordered 6 items about 6 weeks ago.

“Buffet” – This is billed as a multi tasking serum. They do note that “Buffet” is a distasteful word. You can use AM and PM. I used AM and PM. Like most of the products, it comes in a glass bottle and dispenses from a glass eye dropper. I love that so much. It feels a bit sticky but it’s a first layer (I know because they tell you that in the chart.) I like. I will buy again.

hoito buffet the ordinary serum howoldistooold antiaging review

Hyaluronic Acid 2% + B5 – Not sure why I bought. It was on one of the charts under the antiaging catagory and cost about $7 bucks so I got it. More watery then the “Buffet” but still sticky. It attracts 1000 x it’s weight in water so I was hoping it would make my face less parched. Success. I will buy again.

ha acids 2 percent the ordinary hoito review

Natural Moisturizing Factors + HA – This is the only one that resembles something I know about – lotion. I NEED surface hydration. No matter how hydrated serums are making my face or there is a behind the scenes water attraction happening, I just need the top of my skin to feel moisturized. 8 bucks, works well. Will buy again.

the ordinary review lotion ha 2 percent hoito the lab

Advanced Retinoid 2% – Being old I’ve always wanted to try a retinol or retinoid but I’ve been way too scared. I was convinced my super sensitive skin would flip. But this is a perfect baby step. I use around my eyes and then all over. Instant difference. $10 bucks, will buy again.

hoito the lab retonoid review the lab the ordinary

100% Cold Pressed Rose Oil – All the most glowy ladies I know say things like “I only use olive oil to cleanse and moisturizer, just like my grandma.” Or “Coconut Oil is perfect for hair and skin and I’d never touch anything non organic.” So, here I was, covering my face in Rose Oil. AND I HATED IT. I hated it from the very first night. I did it anyway for over a month. I did it until I broke out, took a break, tried again, broke out again. When I say break out, I am talking high school style zits. White heads. Giant, greasy zits. It disgusted me to even write that sentence. My face does NOT do oils. I don’t like the feel, and I hate the zits. So. No. I will NOT be buying again.

hoito the lab the ordinary review rose oil

Low Viscosity Cleaning Ester – This is from a sister company of The Ordinary, NIOD. A little more expensive, but just as esoteric. And, I hate it. Same reasons as the above oil. Hate putting oil on my face but if I’m going to, I want it to at least work. It does NOT remove all traces of makeup. And it leaves your face all oily. Remember the breakouts?

Processed with VSCO with c1 preset

ANALYZE: Of my initial order, I like most of it. The Ordinary is crazy cheap – the basic idea is these are all common and familiar technologies and ingredients, they are concentrated and not full of extras and tons of water. Pricing integrity they call it. I’m into it. You can try stuff and move on without feeling like you are in too deep financially. I have the oils in a give away pile and the rest on re-order. The downside of the low low prices is it’s too easy to GO BIG. Better to start with one and add them in one by one. Then you could really see what’s working and what’s not. Another on the pro list – the small science bottles and eye droppers make you feel fancy and like you are really doing something for your skin.

REPORT: So, overall. My skin looks better! It really does. I’ve noticed an actual difference around my eyes. And I think the portion of the 6 weeks that was highlighted by greasy breakouts really gave me that teen acne look. It’s hard to recreate those high school pimples. I wonder how many people thought I was IN high school with that face?  And when I dropped the oils, the breakout cleared up in a couple weeks and my face stayed hydrated and puffy. I plan on adding another moisturizer for night to replace the Rose Oil. Something in a cream or lotion form. Just cause I like that and even if it’s not the best thing based on science, I like what I like. The Ordinary – order now! And tell us what works for you so I don’t have to work through all 50 items!

Good luck, you little baby faces!

NYFW September 2017 STREET STYLE

Everyone knows assorted fashion weeks are all about STREET STYLE. What did your favorite bloggers wear to wander and pose uninterestedly back and forth in front of photographers scattered across town, to then maybe cram into the back of the standing-room-only sections of the biggest designers’ shows?? Obviously these fashionistas just lazily threw on those casual ballgown/fur coat/mesh-lace bustier/thigh-high stiletto/it-bag looks, because they are the very most comfortable things in their closets. Fashion bloggers, if anything, strive always to show us their VERY REAL LIVES.

Unfortunately for us, the airline lost all five of our LV trunks this season, and Molly and I were forced to run desperately from show to show wearing just the clothes on our backs. The other bloggers scoffed at first, then longed for our sensible shoes, then chased poor Molly through the streets of NYC, grasping desperately at her much-needed lattes.

How Old is Too Old - street style
Source Photo: The Style Stalker

It was such a relief to finally get backstage, where we could but-first-coffee in peace.

How Old is Too Old at NYFW
Source Photo: @vetements_official/Instagram

And then THIS, the worst moment of 2017 …

How Old is Too Old - NYFW SS18 - Zimmerman
Source Photo: Getty Images

… when I mistakenly walked out onto the runway at Zimmerman in my AIRPLANE STREET STYLE CLOTHES, thinking it was the door to the ladies’. To be honest, though, it was a really great view of the show, so I stayed there for the remainder. People LOVE when old ladies do what they want! Worst moment = Best moment!

coffee inspiration

CONVERSATIONS WITH OLD PEOPLE: What is the Best Highlighter?

Perhaps your Facebook feed is full of important issues, but recently mine has become nothing but sponsored videos of people applying contours and highlights to their seemingly “ordinary” faces, transforming into runway models right before my very eyes.

Obviously it’s all entirely fascinating. And what is even more obvious is that these people are using product far superior to my occasional drugstore bronzer/sparkle blush combo impulse purchase (those never work, by the way). These aged eyes cannot make out the products these vloggers quickly wiggle in front of their open palms, nor do I care enough to read through the comments for the answers to my questions. I watch the videos in a Facebook auto-played loop and then check my Instagram for the fiftieth time and go to bed.

Best makeup highlighter 2017
illustration by Molly Marcucci

But I KNOW some of you must have the answers to my shiny (in just the right places) face questions. What do you use? How much does it cost? IS there a drug store option worth trying? And where do I, with my very long oval face, apply it?

THANK YOU IN ADVANCE.

THE LAB: Batiste, You Beast

File this one under “Old Dog, Old Tricks,” friends, because obviously everyone on Earth knows and uses Batiste, except me, until now. WHAT IS THIS MAGICAL POTION???

I’m not new to dry shampoo or anything – I wash my hair once or twice a week, and I know all too well the greasy dirt bomb that is the morning of Day 4 – but I’ve never found a product that could truly do all the things. And so I’ve been sprinkling baby powder on my roots (and all over my black clothes and sink and bath mat) for YEARS, not knowing that someone basically solved all of life’s mysteries, put it in an aerosol can, drew adorable cherries on the label, and then went and sold it for eight dollars.

It does all the things I could possibly dream of it doing, but somehow manages to be even better. Guys, LOOK AT MY HAIR:

Batiste dry shampoo review - How Old is Too Old

Stop washing your hair and just use Batiste instead - says this old person

Batiste saved my life tonight sugar bear

It’s Monday, and I haven’t washed my hair – or even gotten it wet – since … Thursday? I can’t even remember, it’s been that long!

I wasn’t even going to write about this, but I used it this morning and the record of my life metaphorically scratched, and I had to say something.

Never washing my hair again, obvs.

Batiste dry shampoo review
solar eclipse viewing.

 

 

THE LAB: Shopping at YESSTYLE.COM

I am ALWAYS telling people to shop  at Yesstyle.com.  And shortly after I suggest it, I have to explain what it is. And THEN, I try to cram in as many of the rules of shopping at Yesstyle as I can before their eyes glaze over looking at cat socks and couples co-ords.

My best aging pals deserve better! A handy guide below.

  1. You should shop at Yesstyle!
  2. What IS Yesstyle? Well, I’m glad you asked! It’s an online shopping emporium dedicated to Asian fashion, accessories, and beauty! Think ASOS (all the UK brands you know and love and a million smaller ones to find) for Asia.
  3. Anything you should know before losing the next four hours building your cart? YES.

DON’T GET OVERWHELMED BY THE VAST EXPANSE.

Yesstyle is home to millions of items. MILLIONS. Do not try to look at all the “dresses.” (55k+ items). Or “black sandals.” (6k+ items). You are gonna want to get specific. Look for “white distressed jeans cropped.” 19, ok. 19. I can work with that. Then scroll through about 30 photos of each item – all leaning on desks, holding coffees, crossing streets; not a ton of your basic catalog modeling happening. Gives you a much better glimpse into how clothes move and fit. Add your favorites to your cart and there you go. white distressed jeans cropped hoito yesstyle

Frontline Ripped Cropped Jeans, $22.21.

Renera Distressed Jeans, $20.27.

(All items shown are actually in my cart. My cart is currently at 28 items. About average for me.)

COUNTERPOINT: EXPLORE.

Some of my favorite items have been found poking around. WITH DIRECTION. I like to go to the Women’s New Arrival tab and start scrolling. Just scroll and scroll through all the filler until something catches your eye. Then click into that Brand, like Miss Yoyo. I clicked on the jumpsuit and found the jammies. Both landed in the cart. miss yoyo yesstyle yeeees jumpsuits and jammies hoito

Miss Yoyo Plain Jumpsuit, $23.18.

Miss Yoyo Matching Pajama Set, $29.97.

Under the printed jammies was a “Similar Items” scroll. Cool! I DO want to see more! So click on through… And then again… Just wandering around Yesstyle collecting must haves…yesstyle hopping hoito dresses

Moon City Stripe Dress, $19.30. 

Miss Yes Double Breasted Shirt Dress, $19.30. 

GIVE YOURSELF PLENTY OF DELIVERY TIME.

Say you are super stoked to get your new Clover Dream dresses. You have a thing, you want to wear one to a thing and then the other one to another cool thing. Ask yourself, when is this event? Is it this week? This month? Within the next 6 weeks? WON’T HAPPEN. Absolutely spring for the express shipping. But do so with the knowledge that this will get you closer to the 4-6 range and not the usual 3 month range. Once you know this, it becomes a fun surprise! OH! These cool Clover Dreams dresses?! I totally forgot about them!! Your items are not in stock, they are not going to be ANYWHERE, certainly not your closet, in 7 days. So, you just order, and you wait. And then your Clover Dream dresses arrive and you are THRILLED. clover yesstyle dresses really good hoito

Clover Dream Printed Short Sleeve Dress, $27.20.

Clover Dream Printed 3/4 Sleeve Dress, $25.12.

SHOES. SIZE UP. Except if you think they might JUST SIZE UP.

Your feet are one size larger in this market. They just are. Order a size up. Always. If you’re going to try your regular size, maybe do a sandal or something. Don’t you dare order a flat in anything other than one size up. What size will I order these sandals in?! JK, I’ll order them a size up. yesstyle shoes hoito best sandals ever antiaging footwear.jpg

Wello Velcro Platforms in White, $29.00.

Vivier Rhinestone Sandal, $81.38.

Southback Sandals, $23.18.

Goroke Tassel Sandals,$69.74.

STYLING INSPIRATION IS EVERYWHERE.

Look at that cutie pedicure poking out of those black buckled sandals above. LOVE IT. Tried this hair last weekend and looked like Bjork, BUT ready to try again with some auxiliary hairpieces and some things to stick on/in the hair (sidenote, the ELF SACK brand is worth scrolling though to the end. All this model. All amazing. So much is not enough). The shirt, sure. The hair, YES. If you look at the details, the layering, the styling, you will find some excellent ideas.hoito yesstyle hair inspo bork hair but not the lab youthful hair

All Elf Sack. ❤

GENERAL SIZING:

These guys go HARD in the details section. Jeans have 6+ measurements, dresses too. Every line is measured. Many have charts. But the most AMAZING part is the unit of measurement converter so you can flip all the sizes from centimeters to inches. SO thoughtful, Yesstyle!

hoito yesstyle sizing amazing

ONE SIZE.

A fair amount of the items, especially jumpsuits and dresses are One Size. Annoying, But works for me? I like giant things and these would be giant on just about anyone. I say try it. one size jumpsuit hoito.jpg

JENNA LYONS DOES NOT KNOW THE BEST SOCKS. THE BEST SOCKS ARE FROM YESSTYLE.

I was wrong. Forgive me.

best socks ever hoito socks to make you feel you again.jpg

Lazy Corner No Show, $4.75. WORTH IT BUY EVERY COLOR.

Sock Kingdom Heart Socks, $4.75. Also good. BUT BUY THE LAZY CORNERS.

A couple last notes:

Maternity clothes are rarely, if ever, modeled on pregnant woman.

Jeans often come with the button hole sewn shut.

Sheet masks?! HAVE AT EM. K-Beauty?! THERE IS NO BETTER SOURCE. You want collagen?! GET AT IT.

Are you too old for Yesstyle? No, I think not. Enjoy my babies.