Carts: Glitter Makeup? Yeah, let’s do it again!

We were in high school in the late 90’s. So we DID glitter makeup. A lot of sheens, remember sheens? Frosted lips, frosted eyes. Shimmery glosses.

Somewhere along the line though, ’96? ’97? For sure by 1998, things had gotten way out of hand. I went to dances arms absolutely crusted with body glitter. First generation body glitters, the ones that were gel based/smelled terribly of rubbing alcohol/made your skin super tight as soon as it dried. We layered them carefully for size and color. AND THEN. Glitter eyeliner over the frosty eye shadow, glitter mascara, frosty lips. As if the frosty elements were a subtle counterpart to the more ostentatious glitter layers. I mean.

It was bound to happen. Somewhere in the early 2000 on the way out the door I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and for the next decade and a half it was all flat matte everything. Even the 2005 debut of Calvin Kleins makeup line was totally out – those dewy faces were toeing the line of shine and I was just too gun shy. Now, we all know that I’ve gotten over that in some real ways. I’ve fallen re-in-love with a glitter accent – hello Glitter Smudge! Something about that feels so far past a frosted shadow that it works. So it took a while to face facts. I’m into it. It’s been 15 years. I’m 35. And I want to wear body glitter.

Milk Makeup can get adults into just about anything. The Glitter Stick feels like just enough. I hate myself but yes, I’m going to wear this on my clavicle. Just like high school. But no rubbing alcohol smell and no, I won’t layer it with six other body glitters.

hoito milk holographic stick adult glitter hoito howoldistooold
Images via Milk.Β 

Glossier has a barely there shimmer lip gloss. See photo below. BARELY THERE. Perfect. Birthday Balm Dotcom.

birthday balm dotcom hoito howoldistooold glitter lips for adults
Images via Glossier.Β 

Not so into the colored glitters, at all. BUT. Make Makeup’s Glitter Eyeshadow in Quartz and the Urban Decay Shadow in Moondust are perfect see through-y, clear-ish, fairy dust-ish non colors that are hard to get on so a little dusting falls on the top of your cheeks.

glitter hoito adult glitters start with eyeshadows howoldistooold urban decay make makeup
Images via Make Makeup and Urban Decay.

So, here we go again! If I end up with crunchy curls from glitter hair gel, someone stop me. (Or don’t? Could be good again?)

THE LAB: HOITO at Cowshed at Soho House Chicago

Last week, we were SO EXCITED to bring The Lab to The People! Cowshed at Soho House hosted us for a night of Botox Alternatives and the glitter was FLYING.

Youth Serum.Β  Youth Serum.

After one of Cowshed’s resident experts on all things skin care talked about how to keep that youthful glow, Veronica and I got to take a good look at the women assembled. A LOT of really great wrinkles out there. A few twenty something managed to get past the velvet rope, but after we found out they were architects, we let them stay. That job sounds HARD and nothing invites a deep furrow like a stressful job. As Doctors of #Science, we wanted to take this opportunity to impart what we’ve learned. Our intensive, data driven research has turned up a few things: A Crystal Ear WILL make you feel great about a previously dismissed body part; a Glitter Smudge WILL absolutely take years off your face; Youth Serum will always make you look good but more importantly the more Youth Serum you can convince other people to drink, the better you will look to them. It’s all right there in the charts with dots and lines. And always in The Lab – Start with a completly clean face, absolutely covered in makeup.) And then get to work.

There are two paths to a Botox Alternative. After zeroing in on what you are not living for, decide if you’d like to CONCEAL (Glitter Smudge, Soft Chin Sparkle, Et Cetera) or DISTRACT (Crystal Ear, Suprasternal Notch Flash, Et Cetera.) I like to patch test everything to see how the textures and colors will mesh. Above: NK went with a silver base and we built in some texture with rhinestones and metallic flowers climbing her clavicle. Just GORGEOUS. Megan (the previously mentioned teen who snuck in), had not a thing to cover so we used pink and crinkle cut opalecenent flakes to highlight her eyes. STUNNING. And Lena believes herself to have a cross hatched crows feet situation. (This was unable to be confirmed in The Lab.) We used whites and coral seed glitter to cover the area she claims to find the cross hatch. BREATH TAKING.

Everyone left looking DECADES younger. We had planned on getting some drinks after, but who would serve alcohol to a bunch of teens? We CAN NOT wait to have you back in The Lab!

Thanks to Soho House and Cowshed for being such amazing hosts, thanks to Shannon O’Brien for the GREAT photos, and all the love to all your beauties who came out and embraced growing old gracefully (and with glitter.) XOXOXO

THE LAB: Suprasternal Notch Flash Tutorial

At my first meeting with Veronica (we met when she designed my wedding dress!!), I asked to have the sleeves on my dress changed from drop shoulders to straight shoulders so as not to draw attention to my EXTRA wide linebacker shoulders. Veronica did not even blink. I loved her for it. She told me that even though she didn’t see it we all get to have our stuff and if I’d prefer a straight shoulder, I’d have one. What a dreamy lady. 

Look at these shoulders. SO WIDE. (Two colors, two necklines… lest you think it’s an optical illusion. Real shoulder width represented.) I have a couple ideas beyond raglan sleeves (which I LOVE) and halter tops (which I HATE), to draw those eyes in. Follow me into The Lab as I try one out…

SUPRASTERNAL NOTCH FLASH TUTORIAL: 

Ok, first. I want eyes AWAY from the shoulders. Where to go? IN. What is that spot between the clavicle called? The dip in between, hey GOOGLE, WHAT IS IT CALLED?!  Oh, the SUPRASTERNAL NOTCH. Well I am LOVING that. Sounds like it should be in space.

Materials:

  • Spirit Gum (and of course, Spirit Gum Remover)
  • Large, chunky flake glitter 
  • Rhinestones in a couple of different sizes
  • Googely eyes (not sure about this one, but have on hand in case.)

Instructions: 

As always in The Lab, start with a completely clean face; covered in makeup. 

I ALWAYS do a patch test to see how my glitters are going to mesh with each other. The clear, opalescent flake glitter is excellent with clear, silver rhinestones. I’m ALL about texture and I’ll be building that with the flake glitter and two different sizes of rhinestone. 

Once you confirm your combination, GET GOING. Work fast and just swipe the Spirit Gum back and forth along the suprasternal notch and the tips of the clavicle. Just slash it on. Quickly, before it dries, grab a handful of glitter flakes and press to spirit gum. (Spirit gum is STICKY DUH so you WILL likely get some on your hands. It’s ok, will wash off after.) Hold for thirty seconds and spot press flakes into anywhere you missed.

Once you are happy with your first layer, add rhinestones. These you will have to add individually. I started with the large and tucked three into the flake glitter beds where it was the thickest. Add spirit gum to back of each rhinestone and press on. I also added three smaller rhinestones. 

I LOVE IT. DO YOU LOVE IT? I did NOT need the googly (is it googley or googly?) eyes. I thought they might help draw some eyes but I think the glitter flakes are just enough. 

It’s such a perfect flash. I also tried with the plain white tee again to see just a hint. I went with Veronica’s Deep Part as well. 

I think that, using Science, we can objectively say, this works. 

THE LAB: Glitter Smudge

I have preeeeettttyyyy terrible eyesight. I got my first pair of glasses in third grade but have also been highly adverse to wearing glasses since third grade. Most people think I don’t like them since I ignore them on a routine basis until they realize it’s that I just can’t SEE them. While this allowed me to pass my youth glasses free, it really really dug that mid brow furrow in DEEP. Like my aunts suggested Botox in high school deep. Which was bad enough on a line free face THEN and is a near tragedy now that I’ve for frown lines and emerging crows feet to deal with. I DID actually get Botox once, and will again, but WHOA MONIES. So, while I attempt to claw together some more dollars, it’s time to step into the lab for another Botox Alternative!

GLITTER SMUDGE TUTORIAL

Materials:

  • Clear Lip Gloss (I used Wet & Wild in Crystal Clear, it’s $1.99, but any will do)
  • A selection on your favorite glitters in several sizes (I used a MAC ultra fine loose glitter, a MAC medium glitter, and two chunkier glitters that came with a nail kit. Go bananas. There are no rules in The Lab. (Except the ones below. Follow these rules.))

Instructions:

As always in The Lab, start with a completely clean face; covered in makeup.

Take stock of your problem area and measure your furrow best you can without looking at it took long.

Roughly sketch out the surface area you think you’ll need. Go slightly bigger as your wrinkles are probably worse then you think. 

HERE WE GO, GUYS! Combine glitters starting with a base of the finest glitters and adding volume as you go. For my first go at the Glitter Smudge, I stayed in one color family – icey whites. I used different sizes to get texture and all have different reflective properties. I wasn’t going to use any of the silver because I was afraid it would read too “Ash Wednesday,” BUT then I recalled how youthful Veronica looked when she added those grey flowers to her Floral Garden Forehead, so I threw caution to the wind and ended up adding a big bump of silver onto my snowy glitter mountain. You are already COMPLETELY COVERED in glitter, so just get in there and toss those glitters together. 

Apply lip gloss to furrow. To ensure furrow coverage, do the thing that gave you the furrow in the first place. (I pretended someone was calling my name from across the street and that I was trying v hard to see who it was.) Take care to COMPLETELY cover furrow as well as the surrounding area, and some area around that as well. Do not hold back. Layer several coats until you are sure your furrow is very tacky.

NOW. Pull your hair back. AIM. Dip forehead into glitter circle. 

Find some light and BASK IN YOUR (WRINKLE FREE) BEAUTY!