NY Fashion Week S RTW 2018 Review: Day 3

What started off as an action packed day came to a screeching halt when the world fell away, the front rows faded back, and the bright lights rose over the only thing that mattered: DELPOZO.

I was lucky enough to walk the first time in the oooOOOOnnnllly pink woven bow. (Only there is surrounded by pink twinkle hearts and blinky eyes). Pink and red (red orange?) is all over the runways this year and it’s about time. Baby pink and blood red is my favorite color combination after matte black with flat black. ANYWAYS, Delpozo. Magic.

delpozo hoito howoldistooold delpozo spring 2018 the best only thing that matters

V took her turn in one of her own classic favorites – layered mesh and nettings dotted with crystals and paillettes. And doesn’t she look like a dream in this dream? Second question: Does anyone want me to make them raffia slides in neon colors?

delpozo hoito howoldistooold fashion week spring 2018 review

If it’s not shoulder pads this year, and I’m still buying shoulder pads to sew into all my clothes, then a tulle puff shoulder ruffle will suffice. Am I too old for pink tulle? Is it too ten year old at ballet class? I think the slash of neon orange eye liner tempers it and that’s good enough for me. These flats would be a boon for my old knees, but y’all know I can’t do slides. I’ll make them for you all instead.

delpozo hoito howoldistooold fashion week 2018 review we love

You have a favorite show yet? (Besides for Delpozo?)

NY Fashion Week S 2018 RTW Review: Day 1

New York Fashion Week. IS. HERE.

And, once again, we are coming to you with live coverage FROM the runways!

As of this moment, Rihanna is winning Fashion Week. To get this out of the way, though, 100% NO to thong heels. Never. My toes are still killing and it’s only Tuesday. Otherwise, all the YES to the rest. Can I wear a french cut bikini bottom? No. Will I try? Yes. Fanny packs, mesh, scuba and sheer plastics. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Get rid of all your Lulu Lemons and Old Navy clearance athletic junk and get some of this. Fenty x Puma, gimmie more. 

Hot pink suede booties and layered bikinis for the win. Thanks for having me, Ri!

rihanna fenty hoito need this look not too old i swear

Has anyone tried curly bangs yet? Besides Taylor Swift? Can you tell me how it went?

rihanna hoito howoldistoo old fenty 2018 super fun super young

I had to sprint across town, skipping avocado toast and juggling all seven of my coffees, to make Tom Ford.  But when he hasn’t shown FOR A YEAR, you show up when he does. Did not disappoint. It felt similar to last season’s Saint Laurent – Extra. In a world where normcore is still hanging on and we all have a closet full of high waisted denim to go with our perfect tees and cos sweatshirts (a look I still love, no doubt), give me something ELSE to put in my closet! Specifically, give me my first look, this barely a dress mini.

tom ford 2018 spring hoito how old is too old minidress sequin

I don’t want to wear anything this fall without shoulder pads after wearing these squares down the runway. (And now I know where Kim K has been getting all her looks the past couple months.) MORE french cut bikinis. Basically, the take away so far is I will shopping for shoulder pads and french cut bikinis in bulk. Perhaps the shoulder pads will allow for the bikini bottoms to look not terrible and is there such a thing as a bikini top with shoulder pads? I digress.

hoito tom ford spring 2018 sheer have to have howoldistooold nyfw review

Two of my favorite looks show jumpsuits are still a thing, and that’s just fine with me. ONLY if they have shoulder pads though.

tom ford all the best jumpsuits hoito howoldistooold never for shoulder pads

Leaving TF and after pounding the runways on some boring AF shows, finally! SOMETHING OTHER THAN FANCY TSHIRT DRESSES (get it together, AWANG.). Silky dresses, all the pastels, sprinkles of texture, ALL the orange lipstick. Sies Marjan has my eyes blinking hearts.

sies marjan nyfw 2018 hoito howoldistooold boldlip MORANGE please more orange

Easy but not BOOORRRRINNNNGGGG. Why is that the hardest thing to do? I may organize my closet by color and only start monochromatic looks. Shoes included, these matching lil platform heels tie it all up in perfect bows.

sies marjan hoito howoldistooold all the orange lipstick

Back to my edgy but modern and also totally charming boutique hotel so I can grab an hour of sleep, another half dozen cups of coffee and catalog tomorrows street style looks!

 

THE LAB: Soft Chin Sparkle, Round 1

Who here is plagued by a soft chin? It’s not a double chin, necessarily, it’s just not a super defined chin. And, short of a face lift or something, it’s just ALWAYS GOING TO BE SOFT. It is also, brace yourself, only getting worse, thanks. What, short of constantly rolling your tongue to the roof of your mouth or gluing the back of your hand to your chin, can you EVEN DOOOO?

Why are you even troubling yourself over this? Glitter fixes EVERYTHING.

This is an introductory tutorial, because the first attempt was a near-win (or near-miss, depending on whether you’re the kind of person who sees your chin as half-chiseled or half-saggy). But of course, not every trip into the LAB is a total success – perfection takes time, and you’ve had this soft chin, or the makings of it anyway, all your saggy life.

SOFT CHIN SPARKLE EXPERIMENT, ROUND 1

Materials:
– Petroleum jelly
– Fine glitter
– Makeup brush
– Surprise element (optional) I used these plastic Martha Stewart scrapbooking flowers

STEP 1: Liberally apply a layer of petroleum jelly to your soft, old lady chin and down into your neck. Full coverage is essential.

STEP 2: Dip your makeup brush into the glitter and gently dab all over, being sure to cover all of the petroleum jellied surfaces.

STEP 3: WHOA. This looks like a sparkling, three o’ clock shadow, but way prettier. You and your soft chin look GREAT.

STEP 4: Dab a bit of spirit gum to the back of your “surprise element” [plastic flowers] and wait until tacky.

STEP 5: Apply to skin. Hold in place until adhered. Repeat as needed, traveling down into the neck, but avoiding the soft chin area.

STEP 6: Assess. Does your soft chin look defined? YES. But do you maybe need more glitter to provide better coverage and make the flowers look less like tumors? ALSO YES.

THE VERDICT:

Am I too old to wear glitter and flowers all over my soft chin? NO. I LOOK GREAT. However … the application could definitely be improved. Next time, I’ll bring the glitter down much farther into my neck, perhaps even the décolletage, and scatter the flowers a bit lower as well. I’ll also go much heavier on the glitter application up top, softly fading into nothing. Overall, I think this will definitely accomplish what’s desired – a more defined chin – it just needs a little tweaking. But HELLO, there is no denying that regardless of the misses here, my chin looks fine AF.

Will these changes be all it takes to bring this from a near-miss to a total win?? Find out in ROUND 2!

NY FASHION WEEK F/W 2017 RTW RECAP: Day 1

Image via Glamour
Image via Glamour

WHAT. A. WEEKEND. Hello, NYC, and HELLO SNOWSTORM!! Obvs nothing was going to keep us from the NY shows, but the trip from Chicago was NOT easy. Imagine three layovers, hiding in the under carriage of one very packed shuttle bus and bribing a very salty cab driver with all of our remaining donuts. V TRAUMATIC. But fortunately, we made it, and we are HERE and we are REPORTING!

We are also walking the runways again (*humbly, of course*) and somehow finding the time to watch a couple of shows from the front row (*again, so humble, ugh*), so we’ve got all the inside scoops! Be sure to follow along all week for the very best HOITO looks.

DAY 1

We, along with the rest of the fashion world, were just on TENTERHOOKS waiting for Raf Simons debut at Calvin Klein. The most anticipated show of the year did not disappoint. The Americana flavored collection also walked as one show – Mens and Womens collections were blended together. This did provide for a really special moment for Molly and Timmy who were thrilled to find they’d be in matching iconic denim jumpsuits. THANK YOU RAF! 

All images via The Cut. 
All images via The Cut. 

That romantic denim moment didn’t last long as Molly had to hop, skip, jump across the tents to make it her next shows! Up first was Jeremy Scott and the collective reaction was WUT. What is happening. No, what is NOT happening here?! Sequins, glitter, feathers, fur, neons, pastels, fringe, metallics, SEQUIN FRINGE METALLICS?! Is this an Elvis inspired protest parade? If yes, WE’D LOVE TO JOIN. And Molly did. With golden tears streaming down her face. 

Next, and also getting political, was Public School. Dark jewel tones with some light military nuetrals thrown in, the collection was tight and the message strong. Men and women shared the runway here as well, a trend we are V INTO. Genders blurred with woman in tailored and men in skirts and everyone in flat, fluffy slipper sneakers. 

We’ll be live ALL WEEK, stay tuned for more!