THE LAB: DIY Fresh Flower Embellishment

What’s this? Two LABS in a row?? Lollapalooza just wrapped (hello drunk babies!), and because I’m on summer mode and very behind schedule in everything, here’s a perfectly-timed tutorial to help you look super relevant at all of your future outdoor music events. I think there’s only one big festival left this year in Chicago, but this look also works well for parties and art shows, and any other time it’s acceptable to admit that you need lots of attention, so be sure to save to your Pinterest board (we need the traffic!) and pull this one out when you need a real ‘WOW’ moment.

DIY Fresh Flower Embellishment - sew fresh flowers to your jacket - by How Old is Too Old

People will LOSE THEIR MINDS.

I know, because I did this last-minute for Pitchfork, and somewhere, at this very moment, I’m in the deleted files of a NY Times Style section photographer. Life goal halfsies!

This project requires a needle and thread, but don’t worry about keeping it neat – you’ll be ripping it all out with your dehydrated, arthritic hands the next day anyway. Be sure to stick to sturdy fabrics, like denim, that can support the weight of the flowers, and opt for buds that can withstand being punctured. I highly recommend weaving a few leaves into the design as well, to give it more oomph and also really drive home the fact that THESE ARE FRESH FLOWERS, PEOPLE, I’M A VERY IMPORTANT AND FRIVOLOUS ARTIST, ALBEIT A VERY OLD ONE.

DIY Tutorial: Fresh Flower Embellishment

DIY Tutorial - Sewn Fresh Flower Embellishment - howoldistooold.com

 

 

Materials:

  • Garment (denim jacket, perhaps?)
  • Flowers w/ leaves
  • Scissors
  • Needle
  • Thread
  • Pins

Instructions:

I didn’t really plan out a design for this project, but if you’re a bit more responsible – like, maybe the kind of person who just does their taxes instead of letting the worry and annoyance eat away at you like a parasite to the point where you can’t write a blog post, because you don’t even want to touch your computer … – feel free to use a piece of chalk or something to draw out your design in advance.Β 

Begin by snipping a few buds at their bases, removing the stems entirely. Using your needle, secure a length of thread to your garment, then puncture the base of your first flower, pulling the thread out the other side and back into the garment a couple of times. Repeat for each flower [basically just sew them on by hand – you know how this works, right?]. It can be a total mess on the inside, just make sure you’re not pulling the thread so taut that the fabric puckers. Use pins, as needed, to lay out a few flowers at a time (best not to do this all at once in the beginning, because you’ll need to get your hands in there as you go). When you’re happy with your design, sew in a few leaves here and there to really bring it to life.

Notes:

If you choose a hearty flower, and you’re not in excessive heat, this should last you all evening without spritzing or anything. And if you go with a color that doesn’t quickly turn brown (like red over pale pink, for instance), even a little wilting looks fine.

THE LAB: DIY Fendi Crystal 52mm Tipped Cat Eye Sunglasses

Veronica in THE FENDI CAT EYES. (HEART EYES EMOJI). Veronica in THE FENDI CAT EYES. (HEART EYES EMOJI).

Veronica fell hard for a pair of Fendi Crystal Tipped Cat Eyes but WHOA MY GOD, the DOLLARS. They could not be hers, and that broke my heart into just a million pieces. So I did what any friend would do – I took her to Target, picked up supplies, procured the best cocktail money could buy, and we got to it. Today! We take The Lab to Lost Lake!Β Β 

Materials:

You are thinking, HOW? How can I possibly make those?! But, trust me, YOU CAN!

First, get a Bunny’s Banana Daiquiri. It’s widely regarded as the best daiquiri in the world and comes with a delightful banana dolphin! Organize your supplies:

Glue crystals to sunglasses using Super Glue.

Super Glue takes about two minutes to set. Carefully hold in place. It’s kind of a long time. Take a sip of that daq.

Repeat on other side. And you are done!

Then you just do what you do in Lost Lake (read: take photos under the neon sign!)

Now that V has her Fendi’s, I’ve got my sights set on some Glitter Miu Mius. Coming Soon.

THE LAB: DIY Faux Fur Shoe Puff Tutorial

I recently acquired a pair of these simple, white leather Kenneth Cole sneakers on a shoot, and while I totally appreciate their practicality, I also have had one single thought running through my head since I first laid eyes on them:

DIY Faux Fur Shoe Puff Tutorial

Just look at how they’ve transformed into so fashion girl, so runway, so delicately navigating the very fine line between couture and raver, but obviously so beyond gorgeous and bizarre that everyone will compliment you because ugh, puffs on your shoes.

First things first, you are, WITHOUT QUESTION, too old for these, but that’s the thing about very weird, over the top accessories – the more grand and outrageous, the more completely acceptable on any wearer. So go forth, without abandon. You will love these shoe puffs, and the world will love you IN these shoe puffs. Plus, they take, like, no time to make.

DIY Faux Fur Shoe Puff Tutorial

Materials:

  • Lace-up shoes
  • Faux fur (I recommend a long pile)
  • Ribbon
  • Scissors
  • Ruler (not pictured)
  • Needle and thread
  • Fray Block or craft glue (NOT PICTURED FORGIVE ME)

Instructions:

Begin by measuring the fur to your desired shape and cut to size. When working with a long pile, try to cut just the backing layer and avoid the “fur” as best you can. It will pull apart easily without getting any choppy edges.

Run a generous line of Fray Block or craft glue along all raw edges to prevent any unraveling or fur loss.

Cut a length of ribbon to match the width of each fur “puff” and stitch about 1/2 inch down from the top edge at the ends and center, creating two loops.

Place a fur puff on each shoe and thread the top laces through the loops of ribbon. Tie as usual. You can leave the laces peeking out the top or tuck them in under the fur.

I like these as-is, but I also really love adding a set of matching brooches on top. It makes me feel like I’m wearing a pair of VERY fancy slippers. Like some 18th century french courtesan, just like, eating avocado toast and drinking coffee and blogging.

Seriously though.