CARTS: Molly’s Magazine Tears

Another stack of pages pulled out of magazines for me to squirrel away and forget about EXCEPT NO NOW I HAVE THIS BLOG.

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Zoe Kravitz – everything, yes? Her face is perfect as is but I am dead for those tiny blue lash spikes under her eyes. I will be taking this to The Lab asap. I am NOT dead for royal blue in general, but perhaps an exception? Or trying it in purple? Hot pink? Neon Orange?

Next up, what are your thoughts on a $400.00 hair dryer? My thoughts are:

  1. That’s crazy.
  2. Who is insane/rich enough to buy that?
  3. Does it make your hair magic?
  4. I have to have it.

Dyson Supersonic, I’d like it in White/Iron, $399. Claims to be fastest dryer ever. Light. Many attachments that are MAGNETIC. Ok, we can stop there. The attachments won’t be falling off? SOLD. (But not really, not yet.)

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Tinashe uses a Chanel Brow Pencil? What? I thought we were all using brow gels? Chanel Crayon Sourcils, $29. I have to go see Mirka to get these brows cleaned up and then I’m heading directly to the Chanel counter where I expect they will change my life forever. Will report back.

These Steve Madden Glory Heels are just that extra bit of froth I am looking for to anchor down all the giant linen boxes I want to wear this summer. Tiny odd cut dress, giant heavy but glinty shoes. The color makes them. The black is too Prom 2002, but the dusty rose with the mixed metal embellishments are totally Prom 2017.

My baby hair tangles like a … babies hair. This magazine says “Oribe’s Run Through Detangler is a must for my fine hair, which tangled easily.” OK ORIBE! Let’s untangle! $37.00, a steal when you consider that as soon as you run through the detangler you’re gonna hit it with some $399 Supersonic Heated Air.

Jumpsuit Scavenger x 2.

  1. Kristen Stewart wearing a Chanel sequin one piece. EVERYTHING about this is SOOOO awkward. The tube top top. The right below the knee crop. The fit. The sequins. UUUGH. It’s terrible. She looks great. I know I can’t because I am curves and she is flats BUT I want to at least try. I’ve searched the internet for a non Chanel something and nothing. You see anything?
  2. Rebel Wilson’s makeup artist appears to be wearing a denim cocoon of some sort? An ovoid egg shaped romper? I have google image searched for every combination possible of the following words: Denim. Jean. Chambray. Jumpsuit. Romper. One Piece. Egg shaped. Cocoon. Ovoid. Overalls. I checked Need Supply, Fine Folk, Bona Drag, and Mohawk. It’s not 69, Black Crane, or M6. No on ASOS, no on Yesstyle. I have found nothing even close. WHERE ARE YOU? WHHHHEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRE ARE YOU?


PAPER DOLLS: Cavalli 2012 (And pin straight blonde hair.)

I miss being a blonde. hoito- molly- veronica-Naomi-Campbell-Karen-Elson-Kristen-McMenamy-Daphne-Groeneveld-by-Steven-Meisel-for-Robert-Cavalli-Spring-2012My shade of brown takes about 7 hours to get to white blonde (the only blonde worth having), and I have exactly two years before I have to get a pixie cut. Veronica fares much better as a redhead. And we both look great in Cavalli. molly veronica hoito cavalli still love it2012, the heyday of Cavalli, yes? And also, those stick straight blow outs. I think I knew how to do it then, we all did. Did we collectively lose that technology or it just me how can’t learn it again?

V. Also a vision in that baby blonde.

veronica cavalli hoiro in the lab howoldistooold
All images via Vogue. 

CARTS: Aspirational Blogger Look

Hey what’s up I’m still alive! Sorry, but … I needed a break. I’ll admit, I’ve found it difficult to live that aspirational blogger lyfe while maintaining any semblance of self respect and/or decency. I came up in the 90’s – a decade of sarcasm, pessimism and IRONY – this fake news world confuses me. Taking photos of yourself while pretending to hang out at cute cafes is bonkers. IT’S BONKERS PEOPLE WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON??? Cafes are boring! Painted walls are boring! I can’t even do this as a joke anymore.

You want something to aspire to? HERE:

HOW OLD IS TOO OLD for this Catherine Deneuve photographed by David Bailey for Vogue, 1968 look
original image source: David Bailey for Vogue, 1968 |Faces by Anjali Pinto | MUA Shannon O’Brien


HOW OLD IS TOO OLD - Molly does Catherine Deneuve


HOW OLD IS TOO OLD - flamingoes x 4


HOW OLD IS TOO OLD - flamingos x 16


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HOW OLD IS TOO OLD flamingo wallpaper




Carts: Glitter Makeup? Yeah, let’s do it again!

We were in high school in the late 90’s. So we DID glitter makeup. A lot of sheens, remember sheens? Frosted lips, frosted eyes. Shimmery glosses.

Somewhere along the line though, ’96? ’97? For sure by 1998, things had gotten way out of hand. I went to dances arms absolutely crusted with body glitter. First generation body glitters, the ones that were gel based/smelled terribly of rubbing alcohol/made your skin super tight as soon as it dried. We layered them carefully for size and color. AND THEN. Glitter eyeliner over the frosty eye shadow, glitter mascara, frosty lips. As if the frosty elements were a subtle counterpart to the more ostentatious glitter layers. I mean.

It was bound to happen. Somewhere in the early 2000 on the way out the door I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and for the next decade and a half it was all flat matte everything. Even the 2005 debut of Calvin Kleins makeup line was totally out – those dewy faces were toeing the line of shine and I was just too gun shy. Now, we all know that I’ve gotten over that in some real ways. I’ve fallen re-in-love with a glitter accent – hello Glitter Smudge! Something about that feels so far past a frosted shadow that it works. So it took a while to face facts. I’m into it. It’s been 15 years. I’m 35. And I want to wear body glitter.

Milk Makeup can get adults into just about anything. The Glitter Stick feels like just enough. I hate myself but yes, I’m going to wear this on my clavicle. Just like high school. But no rubbing alcohol smell and no, I won’t layer it with six other body glitters.

hoito milk holographic stick adult glitter hoito howoldistooold
Images via Milk. 

Glossier has a barely there shimmer lip gloss. See photo below. BARELY THERE. Perfect. Birthday Balm Dotcom.

birthday balm dotcom hoito howoldistooold glitter lips for adults
Images via Glossier. 

Not so into the colored glitters, at all. BUT. Make Makeup’s Glitter Eyeshadow in Quartz and the Urban Decay Shadow in Moondust are perfect see through-y, clear-ish, fairy dust-ish non colors that are hard to get on so a little dusting falls on the top of your cheeks.

glitter hoito adult glitters start with eyeshadows howoldistooold urban decay make makeup
Images via Make Makeup and Urban Decay.

So, here we go again! If I end up with crunchy curls from glitter hair gel, someone stop me. (Or don’t? Could be good again?)

CARTS: Slides for you and not for me.

Yes, sure, the heart wants what the heart wants. But I’ve always found that what the heart really wants is what it can’t have. Ever, at all. Concealed beneath the skin and tissues of this 35 year old lies the bones of grandma; I can’t wear shoes without backs. Ever, at all. Like a grandma, I can tell when it’s going to rain by my arthritic knees and sensible shoes are my friend. I can endure it by strapping myself into sky high platforms and well fitting heels, but slides/mules/flip flops/anything with zero back? NOPE.

llthebestyesstylepointymulesinoneplacerighthere hoito

Is there anything chicer then a pointy, flat slide? Embellished to all get out OR plain, modern, simple? I like them all! I WANT them all! I want to wear suede slides with a ball gown. Furry slides with denim. Dress up work clothes with something a little weird and cool and be easy on weekends with a nothing little mule. But my knees would HURT. Ache and ache and then I’d worry that I’d be damaging what little cartilage is next and if I do that and then can’t wear heels, what do I even have to live for anymore?! flatslideschicsimpleeasyflatshoito

That Pure Navy one is a GREAT deal on Gilt and I always feel closer to my ideal woman when I look at anything Eileen Fisher. But it can’t be! For me, anyway. For you, little loves, run free in your backless slides!

And never forget, THE ONE – Brother Vellies Fur Slide. I die. Every time. Good luck to you in your Ebay/LGS/TheRealReal hunt!!c2a9brother-vellies-instagram-jardin-babouche


My hair is wavy to curly and sometimes I wear it wavy and sometimes I wear it curly and sometime I wear it straight. But ALL the times I want my ends to be STICK STICK STICK straight. Super straight. It girl in the early aughts straight. Kim K now straight. BUT HOW? Inevitably, the ends always curl in. How do you make it stop? HOOOWWWWW?!


First, I straighten it. Usually I put a spray on when it dries. Then I try to keep it straight.

Things I’ve tried:

  • Straightening it for an extra long time. (IE keeping the straightener on the ends forever.)
  • Bending it a bit in the opposite direction so that if it curls, it ends up straight.
  • Hairspray.
  • Various pomades. (Usually ends up weird textually, like more shiny or piecey then the regular hair.)
  • All the dry shampoos and texture sprays. (These are good for the bulk of the hair, but do not keep the ends from curling.)
  • I’ve started watching youtube videos where teens with gorgeous piles of hair show you how to do it but I’ve only got like a dozen strands of hair and they take about 30 minutes just to straighten their millions of hairs, so I’ve never gotten to the end where they might tell me how.

Not one of these works for any longer then it takes me leave the house. TELL ME. Do you straighten you hair? Do your ends stay straight? What do you put on it/in it? What are the tricks? HALP ME.

[EDITOR’S NOTE: Before we posted this, we decided to switch hosting platforms and amazingly, despite our advanced years, we managed to import ALMOST EVERYTHING! Except this post and the next one. So I’m just going to paste the initial comments below and continue on with all of our lives.]

Previous comments:


lol I love this post. I can commiserate on the only having twelve hairs on my head. My hair is thin and curly/wavy. Make sure your hair is COMPLETELY DRY. I will blow dry my hair at night, sleep on it then flat iron in the morning (so zero moisture is present). I flat iron pretty small sections -I feel like that plays a big part in keeping it straight. I run a paddle brush through and while it’s at the ends of my hair, I’ll lightly mist hairspray, wait a few seconds then pull the brush out.

That sounds complicated lol but it works for me!!!


—- OK! Yes, I can do that! (I think?)

I sort of sometimes run the whole hair through. I could stand to take a minute for smaller sections. The paddle brush and spray tho. I will try!!! Sounds like you need some coordination but I will try!!


Adult Contemporary: Vision Boards.

Last night I went to a dear friends birthday party. She wanted to do one thing – make vision boards. Having never made a vision board, I was a little blinky at the idea. How does it work? What do you do? What again is a vision board? A mood board, right? (No.) A collage, yes? (No.)

A few hours later, I am a woman CHANGED. The birthday girl laid out a few options – pick things that visualize your goals and dreams for you boards. Or think of a few intentions and create what it looks like to you. Another wonderful woman offered another direction – just create and then look at it and sort it what it means later. I picked that one.

I laid a pretty big base of large images, nature mostly,  since I like clean edges. Then I added big cut outs, almost all women and animals. I smoothed edges with smaller cutouts, floral and gems, and then accented the whole thing with glitter glue.

I spent a lot of time today just looking at it. Trying to make sense of the things that spoke to me. I think it’s clear that I could use a lot more time outdoors. The large pictures that line the base are all nature, mostly water and some greenery. I spend most of my time in the city and have been trying to carve out some more outdoor life, especially as the weather changes.

I have figured out one part. This little corner is my little family. Two birds, one perch. And the little baby deer cradling a golden heart could not be a more literal representation of Jorah Mormont, our greyhound, who also has a heart of pure gold. We are our island. And I think this means I just want to see for us three all the sun, all the life, all the waves washing over us. Peaceful but endless waves crashing.

The bottom is also layered with water. More flowers and gems. Another pair of owls. The middle has an army of women. Friends, I think. The most important thing. I’m working out these in my mind. I’m going to keep turning it over.

The birthday girl said something else I’ve been thinking about – “Creating is the opposite of consuming.” That is a thought I want to tack on to this board. This year, I want to live with the abandon of a thousand cut out diamonds and roses. I want to make more, do more. I gave my friend some face masks and a lipstick but she gave me this vision board. I hope I have it forever.