PAPER DOLLS: Cavalli 2012 (And pin straight blonde hair.)

I miss being a blonde. hoito- molly- veronica-Naomi-Campbell-Karen-Elson-Kristen-McMenamy-Daphne-Groeneveld-by-Steven-Meisel-for-Robert-Cavalli-Spring-2012My shade of brown takes about 7 hours to get to white blonde (the only blonde worth having), and I have exactly two years before I have to get a pixie cut. Veronica fares much better as a redhead. And we both look great in Cavalli. molly veronica hoito cavalli still love it2012, the heyday of Cavalli, yes? And also, those stick straight blow outs. I think I knew how to do it then, we all did. Did we collectively lose that technology or it just me how can’t learn it again?

V. Also a vision in that baby blonde.

veronica cavalli hoiro in the lab howoldistooold
All images via Vogue. 

PAPER DOLLS: Maison Martin Margiela x H&M (5 Years Late But RIGHT ON TIME.)

Five years ago I went downtown in the middle of the night, stood in line, froze nearly to death, all for the chance to fight over the Margiela x H&M collaboration. WORTH IT. Would do it again. Like, right now, I think they could release the same collection and I would do it again. It has HELD UP. Maybe because it was the highlights in the first place, reissues of iconic pieces from major collections? Over the last couple weeks I found myself putting up Ebay alerts until I had about a third of the collection on watch. The first time around I was all about the flashiest pieces, mainly the dresses – the sequin and fur trompe l’oeil dresses, the gold lining dress… And I still want those. But I also have revisited everything else and want that too! In particular, the JACKETS.

Veronica looks amazing in the Duvet Jacket. These are going for about $750 apiece BUT they are One Size so if they ever drop in dollars you don’t have to wait for your size. Not sure how V got her hands on one but she looks GREAT. And warm. And that dove is living for her in it.

hm margiela 5 years later hoito veronica
All images via Vogue.

I wanted an even bigger jacket that also comes in One Size. The Peacoat is YES. And I’m short so it would hopefully be extra large. Though it does make my legs look crazy long. Can’t find these online anywhere. If you see it, lemme know, ok?

maison margiela h&m hoito five years later molly

Other things I did not appreciate quite as much as they deserved the first go round: Circle Shirt, Oversized Sweaters, Split Dress. Why did I not buy these when I had the chance. Why do they seem perfect right now? How long will it take me to acquire them?

hoito margiela hm five years later still holds up

Flat Jacket – MUST HAVE. Duvet Jacket – MUST HAVE. Oversized Peacoat – MUST HAVE.

margiela hm hoito five years later still love it

I did not care about this Keyring Necklace AT ALL. And now. Yep, MUST HAVE. The Candy Clutches I loved but they were long gone and I was in the first twenty people in the door. I tried all the shoes and they all ran very large and I could not get one pair. Beware when you start looking.

hm margiela extras candy clutch and the best shoes

Here is a thing though. You know who else LOVED this collection? Public School. Margiela reissued their empty watch for the H&M collection. Public School released a capsule collection of accessories for FitBit and uh. Yeah.

public school watch is the exact same as hm margiela watch

Margiela classics turned classics. Get while you can.

PAPER DOLLS: Molly loves a limited edition collection.

I really do. I love things that come out with a big flourish and then are gone in the blink of eye! H&M’s Conscious Collection is reliably pretty with just enough weird to be cool. Usually they use all the regular neutrals and then all the current neutrals, blushes and grays and pinks for now. Quality is a little better, clothes are little more special. I’m all in.

All items H&M Conscious Collection.  All items H&M Conscious Collection.

Molly: Veronica! I put you in this beautiful dress!

Veronica: Ummm. Can I wear the other one?

Molly: The sequin one? Yeah, but look at you! I thought you’d like it because – 

Veronica: I would like to just wear the other one. 

Molly: Oh. OKAY TWINSIES!

She was right, this dress is amazing on her. And next time, I’d size down one to her size too. Looks cuter a little shorter and swing-ier.

I don’t even have to ask, I know Veronica haaaaaaaaattttttttes these shoes. But they are from the H&M Versace Collection and I wanted to stay true to that thing where you go to H&M for the fun thing and then accidentally leave with tights and hair ties and a pair of shoes.

There are a few things I really like in this latest Conscious Collection – duh the Sequin Dress but also the two bags, the Clutch is REAL good (maybe the first wristlet I’ve ever liked? Technically this is a wristlet, right? Ewww, wristlets), and that little Mesh Tote is totally QT. AND I do like Veronica’s original dress but it also has those Malificent is evil but a also still a Disney character vibes. So, not mad.

The shoes though are yuck, right?

PAPER DOLLS: Wearing Balenciaga Pre-Fall 2017

Balenciaga Pre-Fall 2017 is all about outerwear, and all of it is everything. Bonnets, tied necklines and VOLUME – it’s there in spades, with a few granny florals thrown in. The minute I got over the Ikea joke, I immediately went to work squeezing and stretching our petite, 35+ bodies into the most incredible runway samples to see how these beauties would look on our slightly wrinkled faces.

Balenciaga Pre-Fall 2017 Floral Bonnets

All images via Vogue All images via Vogue

HUH. I’m sort of horrified to say that I think we are, indeed, TOO OLD FOR RUFFLED, FLORAL BONNETS. We look like two elderly ladies in a British mini-series, set in the 18th century countryside, fussing about our cousin’s impropriety and the certain shame it will bring to the family. THIS PAINS ME TO THE CORE, because these ruffled floral bonnets are all I’ve wanted in my life, and I couldn’t wait to get myself into one. I must, begrudgingly, pass.

Balenciaga Pre-Fall 2017 Neck Ties + Totes

I am all about denim jackets and ALSO all about a high neck tie, and this jacket is an obvious necessity. It goes without saying that it’s not in the budget, so I’ll be mocking up something similar in the foreseeable future. WILL LET YOU KNOW.

MOLLY, WHAT IS IN THAT BAG??? You are going to hurt your back. LIFT FROM THE KNEES!!

Balenciaga Pre-Fall 2017 Outerwear

No really, what the fuck is in these bags??

Unless you live somewhere with excessive rain (Seattle, London, etc), you maybe never really think about a raincoat until you need one. This pink raincoat, HOWEVER, with a tight hood and yet another perfect neck tie is completely amazing and worth remembering. Guessing I’d only want to wear it with that pair of matching pink stirrup pants and matching pink gloves, but that’s fine, because, with the exception of the blue satin kitten-heeled mules, it looks like a super comfy rain outfit. (It also looks like I’d feel exactly like Doris Day the entire time TOO.)

I haven’t discussed with Molly just yet, but willing to bet this giant puffer coat checks all the boxes, and I love just a tiny bit of the top of her beautiful head peeking out. I like to imagine her wearing this to dinner and needing two reservations – one for food, one for coat. Somebody please wear this on an overbooked flight.

The Verdict:

As is usually the case, after a certain age, you can no longer wear things old ladies wear and achieve any sort of irony. FLORAL RUFFLED BONNETS, YOU HAVE BROKEN MY HEART. Everything else looks great though, of course. Can’t wait to steal an idea or two.

Paper Doll: Got you, Veronica.

When my girl wants a dress, I WILL FIND HER THAT DRESS. She thought it was a Valentino she was looking for, and so did I. The description of the dream dress did not lie: maybe black, yes floral, yes maxi, yes witch, yes fitted bodice, yes 70’s, yes special, yes denim jacket-able. I MEAN. That’s a Valentino. But, then, it wasn’t. So, it’s my turn to try to find it.

The only thing is… ummm… V? No floral? BUT JUST LOOK AT YOURSELF!

This Ulla Johnson is EVERYTHING. (Except floral, I knnnoooooooow.) I thought about THIS ONE, but didn’t think it would be so easily worn to all the places in Chicago with denim jackets, on rivieras in other countries with as much ease. Though it may have won out with the fitted bodice and yes, it is floral.

Shoes, obviously a very special sandal that can also do the riviera/denim jacket circuit, the most amazing pink metallic Maryam Nassir Zadeh Sophie Sandals. And for the ultimate in versatile accessories, this FRS 3 Geometric Clutch. Bring one, bring three, separate your lipsticks from your credit cards, LIVE YOU LIFE HOW YOU WANT TO.

And Veronica, now that this case is CLOSED, you can go live yours.

HOITONS: What are you looking for? Can I find it for you?

PS: Best block heel ever made on sale HERE.

PAPER DOLL: MAXI LOOKS + LAB: ALDI + GIVEAWAY!!

Cool. I am so far behind in my posts that I honestly can’t decide which topic on my list should be addressed first, so I’ve decided to multi-task by clumping a few together into this one confusing post, which should give me both a sense of accomplishment and perhaps also the motivation to be more productive in the future. Ta da!

1. PAPER DOLL: Maxi Dress Looks

At some point, somewhere on here, I mentioned how I’ve wanted a flowing, sweeping maxi dress for literally a decade or something, and then announced that 2017 was going to be THE YEAR I FINALLY BOUGHT ONE. I’ve since been on the search for something worthy of such an honor, and I’m really struggling, because I’m not just looking for ANY OL’ MAXI DRESS. My dress needs to be part 1970’s Studio 54 (but in a beautiful non-poly fabric), part witch (but not really), maybe black (but definitely floral), super flowing (but with a fitted bodice), the most special thing anyone has ever seen (but casual enough that I can wear it with a denim jacket at parties in boring Chicago (but also dressed up when visiting other cities)). Basically I want a Valentino. But here I am trying on some other options:

JUST KIDDING THAT DRESS DOESN’T EXIST. I just spent two hours scouring the internet, hating everything. Everything was terrible and not at all what I was imagining for myself, but I did find this amazing dress for Molly (non-maxi). I’ll just put off writing some more blog posts, so I can make this dream dress myself, and show you the end result, clumped together with an Adult Contemporary and Effortless or something. Ohmigod, make your own stupid dress! So effortless!

2. THE LAB: Aldi anti-wrinkle creams

Hello, have you heard about Aldi’s anti-wrinkle day and night creams??? THEY ARE FOUR DOLLARS EACH. Normally, I wouldn’t even consider a grocery store face cream, but a friend wrote something about it on Facebook, and I did a little googling, and the reviews were so bonkers positive that I got my kid dressed before noon for once and ran to the store.

I used the night cream first, and forgot all about it until I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror the next morning. HELLO, GORGEOUS. To be honest, my skin was super tired and dehydrated, and I think this probably just RE-hydrated it, but all the same, $4 is completely insane, and even if I hate this on my face after a week, I fully plan to use it all over my body. I have a long face and long neck and always feel like I go through my expensive products too fast, because of the endless surface area, but hopefully I can use this on my neck and chest (and hands and arms and legs) and save the pricier stuff for my face wrinkles. Anyway … will follow up after a couple of weeks for an update!

3. IT’S A GIVEAWAY!!

You know what works even better on your wrinkles than anything an international budget-conscious grocery store chain could ever dream?

The Glitter Smudge Kit!! No further testing is needed – we KNOW this stuff works – and we want you to experience the life-changing moment of covering that deep crevice between your brows in a cloud of sparkle. We’re gifting one kit to a very lucky old person – can’t wait to announce the winner on 4/7!

How to enter:
Everyone knows once you’ve hit 30, it’s really hard to even SEE you – let alone take notice and acknowledge your presence – so we need you to make a lot of noise and fuss.
1. Leave a comment here (1 entry)
2. Leave a Facebook comment with the hashtag #glittersmudge (1 entry)
3. Follow us on Instagram and comment #glittersmudge on any image (1 entry)
4. Mention the contest on your Twitter or Instagram with #glittersmudge (1 entry each)
5. Regram one of our Instagram glitter smudge pics with #glittersmudge (2 entries each)
6. Mention the contest on your blog with a link back here (3 entries) – be sure to let us know about it!
7. Draw #glittersmudge on your face in permanent marker and share on your Instagram with #glittersmudge in the caption (5 entries)
8. Use the same marker to circle and draw arrows highlighting all of your wrinkles and saggy bits on instagram with #help #send #glittersmudge (6 entries)

There is no limit to the amount of entries – go live your life and do what you want. We’ll draw a name and announce the winner on 4/7!

PAPER DOLL: COS LOOKBOOK SS 2107

Chicago. The THIRD largest city in the US. COS. The BEST store in the world. There are TWELVE in the states. How many in Chicago? ZERO. W.T.F.COS.

The Spring Summer Lookbook is out and every single piece is the one I want the most. The whitest white is everywhere, which will be great for if the sun ever shows up in Chicago and I can get a little color on this bod. Not a pattern, or even really a texture, in sight. Just a few perfect putty colors, some navy, and some nurses shoes.

This white coat would be destroyed by any normal life living. I think you maybe bring it wear you are going, get inside, put it on, walk to coat check, take it off, carefully pack up, and hand over to coat check with a twenty to keep safe. You guys, I know I’m too short for the shorts look, ok? I already know. I’m 5’2, these make me look about 4’11. I get it. OK I TOOK THEM OUT OF THE VIRTUAL CART. Wait, what if I hem them a bit and wear with heels? BACK IN THE CART SHORT SUIT.

Lookbook HERE.

Sale HERE.

Must have culotte dungarees on sale HERE.