THE LAB: Shopping at YESSTYLE.COM

I am ALWAYS telling people to shop  at Yesstyle.com.  And shortly after I suggest it, I have to explain what it is. And THEN, I try to cram in as many of the rules of shopping at Yesstyle as I can before their eyes glaze over looking at cat socks and couples co-ords.

My best aging pals deserve better! A handy guide below.

  1. You should shop at Yesstyle!
  2. What IS Yesstyle? Well, I’m glad you asked! It’s an online shopping emporium dedicated to Asian fashion, accessories, and beauty! Think ASOS (all the UK brands you know and love and a million smaller ones to find) for Asia.
  3. Anything you should know before losing the next four hours building your cart? YES.

DON’T GET OVERWHELMED BY THE VAST EXPANSE.

Yesstyle is home to millions of items. MILLIONS. Do not try to look at all the “dresses.” (55k+ items). Or “black sandals.” (6k+ items). You are gonna want to get specific. Look for “white distressed jeans cropped.” 19, ok. 19. I can work with that. Then scroll through about 30 photos of each item – all leaning on desks, holding coffees, crossing streets; not a ton of your basic catalog modeling happening. Gives you a much better glimpse into how clothes move and fit. Add your favorites to your cart and there you go. white distressed jeans cropped hoito yesstyle

Frontline Ripped Cropped Jeans, $22.21.

Renera Distressed Jeans, $20.27.

(All items shown are actually in my cart. My cart is currently at 28 items. About average for me.)

COUNTERPOINT: EXPLORE.

Some of my favorite items have been found poking around. WITH DIRECTION. I like to go to the Women’s New Arrival tab and start scrolling. Just scroll and scroll through all the filler until something catches your eye. Then click into that Brand, like Miss Yoyo. I clicked on the jumpsuit and found the jammies. Both landed in the cart. miss yoyo yesstyle yeeees jumpsuits and jammies hoito

Miss Yoyo Plain Jumpsuit, $23.18.

Miss Yoyo Matching Pajama Set, $29.97.

Under the printed jammies was a “Similar Items” scroll. Cool! I DO want to see more! So click on through… And then again… Just wandering around Yesstyle collecting must haves…yesstyle hopping hoito dresses

Moon City Stripe Dress, $19.30. 

Miss Yes Double Breasted Shirt Dress, $19.30. 

GIVE YOURSELF PLENTY OF DELIVERY TIME.

Say you are super stoked to get your new Clover Dream dresses. You have a thing, you want to wear one to a thing and then the other one to another cool thing. Ask yourself, when is this event? Is it this week? This month? Within the next 6 weeks? WON’T HAPPEN. Absolutely spring for the express shipping. But do so with the knowledge that this will get you closer to the 4-6 range and not the usual 3 month range. Once you know this, it becomes a fun surprise! OH! These cool Clover Dreams dresses?! I totally forgot about them!! Your items are not in stock, they are not going to be ANYWHERE, certainly not your closet, in 7 days. So, you just order, and you wait. And then your Clover Dream dresses arrive and you are THRILLED. clover yesstyle dresses really good hoito

Clover Dream Printed Short Sleeve Dress, $27.20.

Clover Dream Printed 3/4 Sleeve Dress, $25.12.

SHOES. SIZE UP. Except if you think they might JUST SIZE UP.

Your feet are one size larger in this market. They just are. Order a size up. Always. If you’re going to try your regular size, maybe do a sandal or something. Don’t you dare order a flat in anything other than one size up. What size will I order these sandals in?! JK, I’ll order them a size up. yesstyle shoes hoito best sandals ever antiaging footwear.jpg

Wello Velcro Platforms in White, $29.00.

Vivier Rhinestone Sandal, $81.38.

Southback Sandals, $23.18.

Goroke Tassel Sandals,$69.74.

STYLING INSPIRATION IS EVERYWHERE.

Look at that cutie pedicure poking out of those black buckled sandals above. LOVE IT. Tried this hair last weekend and looked like Bjork, BUT ready to try again with some auxiliary hairpieces and some things to stick on/in the hair (sidenote, the ELF SACK brand is worth scrolling though to the end. All this model. All amazing. So much is not enough). The shirt, sure. The hair, YES. If you look at the details, the layering, the styling, you will find some excellent ideas.hoito yesstyle hair inspo bork hair but not the lab youthful hair

All Elf Sack. ❤

GENERAL SIZING:

These guys go HARD in the details section. Jeans have 6+ measurements, dresses too. Every line is measured. Many have charts. But the most AMAZING part is the unit of measurement converter so you can flip all the sizes from centimeters to inches. SO thoughtful, Yesstyle!

hoito yesstyle sizing amazing

ONE SIZE.

A fair amount of the items, especially jumpsuits and dresses are One Size. Annoying, But works for me? I like giant things and these would be giant on just about anyone. I say try it. one size jumpsuit hoito.jpg

JENNA LYONS DOES NOT KNOW THE BEST SOCKS. THE BEST SOCKS ARE FROM YESSTYLE.

I was wrong. Forgive me.

best socks ever hoito socks to make you feel you again.jpg

Lazy Corner No Show, $4.75. WORTH IT BUY EVERY COLOR.

Sock Kingdom Heart Socks, $4.75. Also good. BUT BUY THE LAZY CORNERS.

A couple last notes:

Maternity clothes are rarely, if ever, modeled on pregnant woman.

Jeans often come with the button hole sewn shut.

Sheet masks?! HAVE AT EM. K-Beauty?! THERE IS NO BETTER SOURCE. You want collagen?! GET AT IT.

Are you too old for Yesstyle? No, I think not. Enjoy my babies.

CARTS: Aspirational Blogger Look

Hey what’s up I’m still alive! Sorry, but … I needed a break. I’ll admit, I’ve found it difficult to live that aspirational blogger lyfe while maintaining any semblance of self respect and/or decency. I came up in the 90’s – a decade of sarcasm, pessimism and IRONY – this fake news world confuses me. Taking photos of yourself while pretending to hang out at cute cafes is bonkers. IT’S BONKERS PEOPLE WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON??? Cafes are boring! Painted walls are boring! I can’t even do this as a joke anymore.

You want something to aspire to? HERE:

HOW OLD IS TOO OLD for this Catherine Deneuve photographed by David Bailey for Vogue, 1968 look
original image source: David Bailey for Vogue, 1968 |Faces by Anjali Pinto | MUA Shannon O’Brien

HERE:

HOW OLD IS TOO OLD - Molly does Catherine Deneuve

HERE:

HOW OLD IS TOO OLD - flamingoes x 4

HERE:

HOW OLD IS TOO OLD - flamingos x 16

HERE:

Screen Shot 2017-07-06 at 8.40.35 PM

HERE:

Screen Shot 2017-07-06 at 8.21.55 PM

HERE:

HOW OLD IS TOO OLD flamingo wallpaper

SHOP THE LOOK

 

 

Carts: Glitter Makeup? Yeah, let’s do it again!

We were in high school in the late 90’s. So we DID glitter makeup. A lot of sheens, remember sheens? Frosted lips, frosted eyes. Shimmery glosses.

Somewhere along the line though, ’96? ’97? For sure by 1998, things had gotten way out of hand. I went to dances arms absolutely crusted with body glitter. First generation body glitters, the ones that were gel based/smelled terribly of rubbing alcohol/made your skin super tight as soon as it dried. We layered them carefully for size and color. AND THEN. Glitter eyeliner over the frosty eye shadow, glitter mascara, frosty lips. As if the frosty elements were a subtle counterpart to the more ostentatious glitter layers. I mean.

It was bound to happen. Somewhere in the early 2000 on the way out the door I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and for the next decade and a half it was all flat matte everything. Even the 2005 debut of Calvin Kleins makeup line was totally out – those dewy faces were toeing the line of shine and I was just too gun shy. Now, we all know that I’ve gotten over that in some real ways. I’ve fallen re-in-love with a glitter accent – hello Glitter Smudge! Something about that feels so far past a frosted shadow that it works. So it took a while to face facts. I’m into it. It’s been 15 years. I’m 35. And I want to wear body glitter.

Milk Makeup can get adults into just about anything. The Glitter Stick feels like just enough. I hate myself but yes, I’m going to wear this on my clavicle. Just like high school. But no rubbing alcohol smell and no, I won’t layer it with six other body glitters.

hoito milk holographic stick adult glitter hoito howoldistooold
Images via Milk. 

Glossier has a barely there shimmer lip gloss. See photo below. BARELY THERE. Perfect. Birthday Balm Dotcom.

birthday balm dotcom hoito howoldistooold glitter lips for adults
Images via Glossier. 

Not so into the colored glitters, at all. BUT. Make Makeup’s Glitter Eyeshadow in Quartz and the Urban Decay Shadow in Moondust are perfect see through-y, clear-ish, fairy dust-ish non colors that are hard to get on so a little dusting falls on the top of your cheeks.

glitter hoito adult glitters start with eyeshadows howoldistooold urban decay make makeup
Images via Make Makeup and Urban Decay.

So, here we go again! If I end up with crunchy curls from glitter hair gel, someone stop me. (Or don’t? Could be good again?)

CARTS: Slides for you and not for me.

Yes, sure, the heart wants what the heart wants. But I’ve always found that what the heart really wants is what it can’t have. Ever, at all. Concealed beneath the skin and tissues of this 35 year old lies the bones of grandma; I can’t wear shoes without backs. Ever, at all. Like a grandma, I can tell when it’s going to rain by my arthritic knees and sensible shoes are my friend. I can endure it by strapping myself into sky high platforms and well fitting heels, but slides/mules/flip flops/anything with zero back? NOPE.

llthebestyesstylepointymulesinoneplacerighthere hoito

Is there anything chicer then a pointy, flat slide? Embellished to all get out OR plain, modern, simple? I like them all! I WANT them all! I want to wear suede slides with a ball gown. Furry slides with denim. Dress up work clothes with something a little weird and cool and be easy on weekends with a nothing little mule. But my knees would HURT. Ache and ache and then I’d worry that I’d be damaging what little cartilage is next and if I do that and then can’t wear heels, what do I even have to live for anymore?! flatslideschicsimpleeasyflatshoito

That Pure Navy one is a GREAT deal on Gilt and I always feel closer to my ideal woman when I look at anything Eileen Fisher. But it can’t be! For me, anyway. For you, little loves, run free in your backless slides!

And never forget, THE ONE – Brother Vellies Fur Slide. I die. Every time. Good luck to you in your Ebay/LGS/TheRealReal hunt!!c2a9brother-vellies-instagram-jardin-babouche

CARTS: Moda Operandi Sale + Palm Beach Planning

HELLO, all the summer stuff on Moda Operandi is 50% off and I’ve got a week-long vacation in Palm Beach planned for July, so we. are. doing. some. CARTS. When these fancy websites have sales, I mostly scour the swim and shoes and then skim the rest. Swimwear, because I can actually afford it (on sale); shoes, because that’s the one area I’m willing to make an investment (on sale); and all the rest is for inspiration if/when I have time to make something for myself (more on that coming soon!).

Swimwear

Left to Right: Reina Cutout; St Barts Bustier; Entwined Lace up; Petal 2 Fringed; Victoria Twisted; The Perfect Ten Left to Right: Reina Cutout; St Barts Bustier; Entwined Lace up; Petal 2 Fringed; Victoria Twisted; The Perfect Ten

I have a lot of boxes to check off in this category:

1. I need the front of my stomach covered, because I just do. One night I told Molly that, as an experiment for this blog, I was going to wear a crop top around town all day, thinking that would break me of my tummy insecurity. Then when I sobered up, I remembered ‘NO THANK YOU.’ It’s not even that bad, it’s just not that good. I have other, better things to show the world.

2. The legs need to be pretty low cut, because I don’t wax, and I like to keep shaving to a minimum. I know, I KNOW. As I type this, I realize my legs would probably look pretty great with a super high cut, but it’s just too much to worry about. Full-body exfoliation and subsequent spray tan is enough prep work for me. Let’s just keep the crotch covered and move on, shall we?

3. Because I’m all covered up everywhere else, I like to show a bit more up top. I’ve got a little to flaunt up there too, so why not?

4. I’m very picky about color and pattern. Not too much! Not too matronly. Not a weird Florida floral. Not a crazy color that will make my fair skin look gross if I’m caught off-guard and not given time for the aforementioned spray tan. AND NOTHING WITH WORDS LIKE ROSE ALL DAY. But, you know, it needs some kind of surprise design element to make it special.

Summer Shoes

Left to Right: Pearl Sandal; Delpozo platform; Aquazurra Tropicana sandal; Roberto Cavalli Cosmo sandal; Aquazzura Beverly Hills 50 sandal; Simone Rocha Nappa heel; Simone Rocha midi brogue; Marco De Vincenzo Satin Fringe Left to Right: Pearl Sandal; Delpozo platform; Aquazurra Tropicana sandal; Roberto Cavalli Cosmo sandal; Aquazzura Beverly Hills 50 sandal; Simone Rocha Nappa heel; Simone Rocha midi brogue; Marco De Vincenzo Satin Fringe

Summer shoes are so hard, because they need to be EASY, but also versatile and comfortable and able to work for you every day without getting gross. I also really like to have my heels covered, so that I don’t have to worry about scrubbing and moisturizing them every thirty seconds. I want to LIVE in the summer and not worry so much about my feet. Even though I honestly feel like I spend half of the summer worrying SO MUCH about them. ALSO, your summer shoes need to be cute AF, because the number of accessories vastly reduces in summer – no bangle can carry the entire weight of an outfit.

All that being said, summer is also the time for PARTIES. And you can run all over town without worrying about your feet getting cold or slipping on ice. So, keep a tiny tube of lotion in your bag and let those tootsies OUT.

[Note: did I just vision board myself into buying blue shoes??]

Everything Else

I am … not buying clothes anymore. !! I’m actually not buying swimwear either, but I’ll get into it all in a future post. I AM, however, looking for inspiration, and pretty much everything but this Roberto Cavalli denim coat dress has me feeling lots of feelings. Actually, I’ve been feeling all sorts of things in general in my life, but I’m so excited to have stumbled on a new project and I’m dying to tell you all about it. It involves LOTS of clothes and LOTS of design, and I’m the youngest person at my new job! STAY TUNED!

Carts: FESTIVAL EDITION (Don’t worry, still for old people.)

This blog is not a blog that says WE ARE NOT TOO OLD FOR ANYTHING EVER. We are not trying to BE 20 year olds, or look like 20 years olds; we are simply embracing being 30 plus year olds. So, when we ARE too old, we say it.

WE ARE TOO OLD FOR THE “FESTIVAL” TAB.

Be it on H&M, Asos, or Barney’s, I’m not doing it. (OK, fine. We’d probably wear the Isabel Marant and Valentino from the Barney’s Festival page.) But hard pass to the bulk of it. To be honest though, I don’t really get why. We LIKE sequins. We sometimes like fringe. We like flares and neon, cut offs and vintage. WHY when it comes to festivals does it look like sometime took all those things, added crochet and western wear and a strong dose of cultural appropriation (Teen Vogue at it again with the real talk HERE), threw it in a blender, and when it came out a terrible stringy mess thought “I’ll just add platforms and tinted sunglasses!”

Actually, again, I like platforms and tinted sunglasses? WHAT HAPPENS? It truly is a mystery to me. Something about loving the parts, hating the sum of the parts. Maybe it’s just basic math and I’m missing it. Love THIS. Hate THIS. So there we are.

Wholly on the plus side, however: the rise of festival culture, is it a culture?, has also given rise to some just plain FUN body accouterments.* How far do you want to go, fellow too old for festival tab person?

Let’s dip our toe in first, shall we? Hello Mr. Kate!

Images via Mr. Kate.  Images via Mr. Kate.

AWWWWW. How sweet are these little cutie metallic freckle?! “The cutest.” is the answer. The actual cutest.  Mr. Kate makes all kinds of jewelry and bags and what not, but is really SHINING with the Beauty Marks collection. Glittery flecks to scatter around your cheeks, or the Confetti, a more multi purpose glitter accent.

Application: Temporary tattoos.

Result: Cheek pinch inducing cuteness of a Disney doe.

Collaboration: None (yet).

Ready for a little more is more? Hey there, Body Bauble!

Images via Body Bauble.  Images via Body Bauble.

Body Bauble has more of a stick on application reminicist of high school dances and the first wave of “body jewelry” in the 90’s. (Don’t you just always miss the 90’s?) You’d dive into a pile a body glitter, roll around a bit, then decide that your shoulder just needed a bit, more? Crystal star made of rhinestones from Claires? Exactly the thing. And we’ve walked ourselves right back there with a slightly chicer (but also then slightly more boring, yeah?) metallic and pearl stick ons. Plenty of the cheek/eye gems as well, but something about this just misses the upbeat, FUN! part of this. You think?

Application: Peel and Stick.

Result: A more grown up version of your junior year Turnabout. TOO grown up?

Collaboration: Chain Smokers. :

AND JUST GO FOR IT!!! WhoaMG, Gypsy Shrine!

Images via Gypsy Shrine.  Images via Gypsy Shrine.

Do not hold back. Do not hold back and THEN ADD MORE. Seems to be the motto at Gypsy Shrine, and I for one am NOT mad about it. There is something so unrestrained and so utterly insane, and so FUN!, that nothing else seems to matter. Look like you are trying to hard? Hell yeah you do, and you don’t give A. F. Showing a lot, shining a lot, being so extra you probably find glitter in your bed, bathroom, shoes, closet, kitchen for the foreseeable future? Into it! Caveat: I am too old for the Boob Jewels. 100% too old. It’s OK, not everything is for me. Let the barely legals LIVE. Maybe I’m more into the idea of it then I actually want to try myself. Either way, YES GYPSY SHRINE.

Application: Peel and stick.

Result: Add their glitters to your hair and body and you’ve got a straight up Burning Man aspirational teen mermaid riding a unicorn up a rainbow. With some sea punk thrown in.

Collaboration: Sophie Hannah Richardson. Duh.

Some of these, if placed carefully, would be excellent Botox Alternatives, though they were not made with my wrinkles in mind. Really living for this moment in time when it is acceptable to shine bright by ACTUALLY shining. Festival or not, this summer, we will be out there glittering.

*Have to be extra clear: Tribal in any way, bindis, headdresses, and pretending you are a cartoon Pochantas EDM princess = PUKE.

CARTS: Molly’s Magazine Tears

I have an annoying habit. I drive the person sitting next to me in airplanes crazy by tearing out page after page out of magazines and then I drive my husband crazy by leaving these little piles all over the house. I always think I will REALLY NEED them. In an effort to actually throw some of these piles away, I will compile them here! SCIENCE WINS AGAIN!

I’ve been flirting with the idea of Danskos for a long time. I live for a round, round toe and a hoof like silhouette so it’s weird that I don’t already own a pair. AND THEN TO SEE THEY COME IN WHITE?! MUST HAVE. Get them HERE. Also, did you know how many colors these things came in? A LOT.

Glitter eyes, DUH. Directions say use Ben Nye Glitter Glue, no problem there, and craft store glitter. HERE are some good glitters in the medium size range that would work for this. I don’t die for the color combinations here, I’ll probably go with pink and red or pink and silver when I try. Not playing with that matter black eyeliner either. Stay tuned.

Jenna Lyons took her turn at being guest editor for Glamour to answer some questions that real people for sure did not ask (“I want to layer like a pro, but how do I do it in warmer weather?” Liz Coyles, please.) BUT she did drop in mention of her favorite grey socks- THESE ARE THE THINGS WE WANT TO KNOW, JENNA, not when and how to add a jean jacket. According to Jenna the holy grail of socks is Maria La Rosa. Not a grey silk ankle pair to be found on the internet, because Jenna bought them all ugh, but I’m going to try THESE navy ones while I patiently wait for a restock.

I couldn’t really figure out that shoe situation. Is that a ribbon, an ankle cuff of some kind? Attached to the shoe? A cutie bonus wrap? A few minutes of google and they turned up – Jimmy Choo Rosana Heels – dusty rose velvet pumps with a black ribbon ankle tie. Most pics have the ties wrapped up the ankle, but I LOVE this styling choice so much better. They are long gone and I couldn’t afford them anyway BUT can you just add a grosgrain ribbon around your ankle UNDER an ankle strap? I think you could. I’m going to order a roll of 5/8 inch wide black ribbon HERE and go from there. The shoe will be tougher, I really love that color and style and can’t find anything close. YET. The platform on THESE takes away any chic vibes and the color, shape, everything of THESE is wrong even though I ADORE them. Another thought: Could I cut off the top part of a sock and wear that under the ankle strap of heels? Will report back.

Dry Shampoo changed my life in the same way I’m sure it changed yours. I’ve been using dry shampoo on day one of washing as well because of my baby hair. It’s fine and thin and needs a little help. But it’s not exactly the right thing so I’ve recently been trying texture sprays and have found some that are OOOOKKKKKAAAYY but none I’ve committed too. InStyle had some words about one I hadn’t heard of before – Living Proof’s Dry Volume Spray. I bought a travel size at Sephora and YES IT WORKS! My baby hair gets day 2 grit without actually getting dirty and it also kind of… stays? Where you put it? Like you used a paste? Does that make sense? Anyway, I love it and if you also have terrible hair you should try and maybe you will love it too. I’ll be buying the full size. (Their website is full of wacky pictures and videos, too! So many instructions on how to use hairspray.)

That’s it for now, off to actually throw away these mag tears. Miss them already.