Today is Molly’s birthday! And being the humble, loving creature she is, she asked me to write about and post pictures of myself, but obviously instead I’m talking about this glorious angel and the pure joy it is being her friend. Also, let’s touch on making friends in your thirties in general, because everyone seems to think that stops after your twenties, but that’s crazy – there are so many more great people for you to meet and befriend!
First though … MOLLY.
We sort of tiptoed around one another for a bit, and then one night after a dinner party sent “I really like you so much” texts and it’s been true, unbridled love ever since. What I’ve learned being friends with this exceptional woman, is how important and EASY it is to tell your friends how great they are on the regular. Tell them how much you love them! Why wouldn’t you?? It’s okay to really LOVE your friends and to cherish them in a deep, meaningful way – the same way you would a romantic partner. I get an actual thrill looking at Molly and my other super close friends – a genuine tingling. I don’t know how else to describe it. When you go all in like that, you feel so much more open and ready to receive the love back. Thank you for teaching me that in a very real way, Molly, and thank you for loving me back so much. One text from you brightens my entire day, every single time. [They also include selfies and fireworks and little hand-drawn cartoons – I mean, THIS WOMAN! *sigh*.]
Everyone needs a friend like Molly!
How do you get one??
Obviously as we get older we just have less time to give other adults, and it can be hard enough maintaining the friendships we have, let alone finding and nurturing new ones. We get into a routine and maybe start to become a little isolated from the world in a social circle we established decades ago. THOSE FRIENDS ARE GREAT – TELL THEM YOU LOVE THEM, but you’ve grown and altered a bit with experience, and there are parts of you that now branch outside of those early interests. THERE ARE MORE PEOPLE YOU CAN LOVE.
I’ve heard many friends say it’s hard to find deep friendships when you’re career- and family focused, and OVER 30, but no! You’re wrong! This is the best time to make friends, because … YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE and YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. The only thing holding you back is your own insecurity.
I get it – inside of me is still the very timid baby bird of my youth – so self-aware and insecure. I often develop a stomach ache on the way to a party, even still. But that’s just not an excuse, guys. Nothing good comes from that. Pull up your high-waisted jeans, cinch them tight, and stride in and smile at everyone. Because everyone is feeling the SAME WAY. You’re old enough to know that by now. Go make some friends! Talk to people! Make friends with a client. Your kid’s teacher. Someone who writes a blog you read. ME. I’ve done all of the above. It’s really easy once you open yourself up.
And send someone a text with a picture of yourself smiling at them – you have no idea how great it is to receive. Molly, you get me every time.