PAPER DOLLS: Wearing Balenciaga Pre-Fall 2017

Balenciaga Pre-Fall 2017 is all about outerwear, and all of it is everything. Bonnets, tied necklines and VOLUME – it’s there in spades, with a few granny florals thrown in. The minute I got over the Ikea joke, I immediately went to work squeezing and stretching our petite, 35+ bodies into the most incredible runway samples to see how these beauties would look on our slightly wrinkled faces.

Balenciaga Pre-Fall 2017 Floral Bonnets

All images via Vogue All images via Vogue

HUH. I’m sort of horrified to say that I think we are, indeed, TOO OLD FOR RUFFLED, FLORAL BONNETS. We look like two elderly ladies in a British mini-series, set in the 18th century countryside, fussing about our cousin’s impropriety and the certain shame it will bring to the family. THIS PAINS ME TO THE CORE, because these ruffled floral bonnets are all I’ve wanted in my life, and I couldn’t wait to get myself into one. I must, begrudgingly, pass.

Balenciaga Pre-Fall 2017 Neck Ties + Totes

I am all about denim jackets and ALSO all about a high neck tie, and this jacket is an obvious necessity. It goes without saying that it’s not in the budget, so I’ll be mocking up something similar in the foreseeable future. WILL LET YOU KNOW.

MOLLY, WHAT IS IN THAT BAG??? You are going to hurt your back. LIFT FROM THE KNEES!!

Balenciaga Pre-Fall 2017 Outerwear

No really, what the fuck is in these bags??

Unless you live somewhere with excessive rain (Seattle, London, etc), you maybe never really think about a raincoat until you need one. This pink raincoat, HOWEVER, with a tight hood and yet another perfect neck tie is completely amazing and worth remembering. Guessing I’d only want to wear it with that pair of matching pink stirrup pants and matching pink gloves, but that’s fine, because, with the exception of the blue satin kitten-heeled mules, it looks like a super comfy rain outfit. (It also looks like I’d feel exactly like Doris Day the entire time TOO.)

I haven’t discussed with Molly just yet, but willing to bet this giant puffer coat checks all the boxes, and I love just a tiny bit of the top of her beautiful head peeking out. I like to imagine her wearing this to dinner and needing two reservations – one for food, one for coat. Somebody please wear this on an overbooked flight.

The Verdict:

As is usually the case, after a certain age, you can no longer wear things old ladies wear and achieve any sort of irony. FLORAL RUFFLED BONNETS, YOU HAVE BROKEN MY HEART. Everything else looks great though, of course. Can’t wait to steal an idea or two.

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