THE LAB: Soft Chin Sparkle, Round 1

Who here is plagued by a soft chin? It’s not a double chin, necessarily, it’s just not a super defined chin. And, short of a face lift or something, it’s just ALWAYS GOING TO BE SOFT. It is also, brace yourself, only getting worse, thanks. What, short of constantly rolling your tongue to the roof of your mouth or gluing the back of your hand to your chin, can you EVEN DOOOO?

Why are you even troubling yourself over this? Glitter fixes EVERYTHING.

This is an introductory tutorial, because the first attempt was a near-win (or near-miss, depending on whether you’re the kind of person who sees your chin as half-chiseled or half-saggy). But of course, not every trip into the LAB is a total success – perfection takes time, and you’ve had this soft chin, or the makings of it anyway, all your saggy life.


– Petroleum jelly
– Fine glitter
– Makeup brush
– Surprise element (optional) I used these plastic Martha Stewart scrapbooking flowers

STEP 1: Liberally apply a layer of petroleum jelly to your soft, old lady chin and down into your neck. Full coverage is essential.

STEP 2: Dip your makeup brush into the glitter and gently dab all over, being sure to cover all of the petroleum jellied surfaces.

STEP 3: WHOA. This looks like a sparkling, three o’ clock shadow, but way prettier. You and your soft chin look GREAT.

STEP 4: Dab a bit of spirit gum to the back of your “surprise element” [plastic flowers] and wait until tacky.

STEP 5: Apply to skin. Hold in place until adhered. Repeat as needed, traveling down into the neck, but avoiding the soft chin area.

STEP 6: Assess. Does your soft chin look defined? YES. But do you maybe need more glitter to provide better coverage and make the flowers look less like tumors? ALSO YES.


Am I too old to wear glitter and flowers all over my soft chin? NO. I LOOK GREAT. However … the application could definitely be improved. Next time, I’ll bring the glitter down much farther into my neck, perhaps even the décolletage, and scatter the flowers a bit lower as well. I’ll also go much heavier on the glitter application up top, softly fading into nothing. Overall, I think this will definitely accomplish what’s desired – a more defined chin – it just needs a little tweaking. But HELLO, there is no denying that regardless of the misses here, my chin looks fine AF.

Will these changes be all it takes to bring this from a near-miss to a total win?? Find out in ROUND 2!

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